Thanksgiving 🍂

Although the crisp air has become chilled,  the leaves snowflakes and the layers thicker, fall still brings Thanksgiving and the joys of being with family, surrounded by gratitude and warmth. 

This weekend will be spent counting my blessings. Starting with my health, my families (near and far), love, safety, education and life as a whole. Moving to the health of others, the opportunities I’ve been given, and down the list from there, nature, friends, pets and tea, among other things. 

Wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving full of love and many things to be thankful for 🍂

East Coast, NS: home sweet home

Fall leaves, cozy homes, gloomy days, and one very homesick heart. This time of year floods my heart with the fondest of memories, filling my heart with such warmth, it feels as though I never left. I belong there. Surrounded by leaves, rocks, water and love, the warm hug of being ‘home’. Here I sit, in a university library, surrounded by tension and stress of the students preparing for midterms, with a dull ache in my heart that suggests I’m not meant to be here. If not for the changing leaves, dull skies, old photographs and country music, I’m not sure there would be anything to bring me comfort. Such a sad story, I know; but I find so much hope in knowing where I feel most at home, as if I belong. Soon I’ll visit, and eventually I’ll stay.

the power of words

the same 26 letters, rearranged, and strung together create ideas that bring eloquent and potentially indelible emotions to the body, through the eyes of the beholder. But the potency and impact from two words, chosen from the 26 letters can often be greater than the impact of an entire sentence, or paragraph, or speech. And it’s incredible.

Henry Rollins: my favourite string of words.

“Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have.”

someday, someone, something

behind her smile lies a place
of rain, and light and lust
her image is clear, and mind is free her pain no more than dust
her truth is kind, it wanders off
slipping softly into the light
although it seems so real now,
it’s fading into night.
her reality is setting in,
her pain, her fears, her life.
she hopes someday she’ll find her way,
her happiness won’t die.
but until the day she loves herself,
her smile will stay a lie.

sincerely, Brooke.

sincerely, the inspired.

a common place for me it seems, is a terrified, misunderstood, frustrated, yet simply inspired state of mind. I’m constantly faced with inner struggles, vivid inspiration, and avid confusion. life is terrifying. it’s enthralling, it’s promising, it’s inspiring, it’s completely and utterly incredible; but it’s scary. it’s unknown and open, it’s 100 years to live, but yet it’s too short to ignore. people at this age expect me to know how to face this task called life; they expect me to understand something I cannot wrap my thoughts around; they expect me to answer one seemingly simple, stress free question. what do you want to be when you grow up? but what if I don’t know. what if the better question is who do I want to be when I grow up. who do I want to be 100 years from now, when my life flashes before my eyes? who do I want to be now? somedays in my avid frustration, I haven’t a clue; I have no answer, nor do I have an idea. but other days I know that I want to be inspired. I want to be happy, I want to be loved, I want to be truly, and inevitably exhilarated with the small things. I strive to no longer be terrified of life, to have insecurities; I aim to love others and myself, and no longer believe that I’m not good enough. I want to diminish the negativities high school burdened me with, and prove to those around me that I was strong. that I was blessed. and this seems like a suitable answer, doesn’t it? but it’s not a doctor, or a lawyer, or a high school drop-out. so there’s no path placed in front of you. and here lies my struggle; my frustration, my misunderstanding, and my divine determination for inspiration. I don’t know where to start, nor do I know where to end. but I do know that I will not take a step forward unless it feels right, unless it makes me happy, and unless it’s a direct expression of my inspiration. I am both happy and sad, and trying to figure out how that can be; but underneath it all I am simple, beautiful, exhilarated and inspired, and that is enough to be my first step forward. enough to be my compass, guiding me to an answer, and away from being terrified of life. if I don’t get anything else out of life at least I can say I escaped my confusion and misunderstanding for one beautiful moment, and I experienced true inspiration, I experienced a glimpse into who I want to be when I grow up. since you must know.
sincerely, Brooke.